Spring is Blooming

I will admit that I was pretty worried about visiting Kosovo this past weekend. The last trip that we made as a family was difficult. We had a hard time both seeing things move on without us and we still had such a desire to continue mentoring some of the leaders and volunteers there. Jonathan and I took being “home but not home” pretty hard. We cried much and felt just plain odd. And the fallout when we got back to Bulgaria saw Jonathan’s behavior go a little… wacky shall we say?! Well, we had made the decision to take a trip back over the May 1st long weekend when Jonathan would have time to “recover” before returning to school.

This trip was oh so different! Firstly the weather was wonderful… there are few things as beautiful as Kosovo on a blue skied, warm Spring weekend. But our hearts smiled due to more than the weather. Spring has come to Kosovo in more than a seasonal sense. The churches are alive and growing, the team of national and international workers are doing a fantastic job of reaching into the communities of Sunny Hill community in Prishtina and the town of Suhareka. The volunteers are speaking rather fabulous Albanian for having lived there under a year (far, far better than my Kosovar Albanian ever was). The Prishtina church is considering buying the building that they have been renting for a year. There was expectation and joy in the air. The Kosovar church is blooming!

One thing that I was simply giddy to see was the Kid’s Sunday School time. Wow! To think that just under three years ago we started in a basement area with two toddlers (Jonathan and Sarah)! The bright, cheerful Sunday school room that was just finished before we left was filled with happy and engaged kids learning the stories AND applications from the bible… in ALBANIAN =) Our prayers do not go unheard folks! The hours spent crying out to God for our church to reach families (including our own) were not for naught!

We came away feeling a great sense of encouragement. God is working in Kosovo. To see seeds growing, differences overcome, team unity growing, many MANY new faces in the churches, and grand ideas for ministry brewing in the minds of the leaders… it was inspiring! It reminded us anew that as we start from scratch in areas such as Kid’s Sunday School (I’m back to three, you can guess who they are!) and with questions such as “How can we better reach Sofia?” “Where can we meet the social needs of people?” and “How can we promote unity of vision and purpose across the Bulgaria District?” that GOD IS WORKING and prayers are heard. On our knees is the best place to be. Seeds will grow. Whether we are around to see the fruit or not, this is not all for naught. God is working.

Comfortably home. Uncomfortably linguistically challenged.

Well, I have a breakthrough to announce. A rather exciting one! This Easter we went to the UK for a 10-day holiday/gallivant across the country to visit parents, Grandparents, churches and friends. When we got back to Bulgaria on Monday I felt like I was HOME =) I felt comfortable in the airport and excited to see friends and get back into life here. The past couple of times that we left and came back I felt odd upon arrival, so God is certainly answering my (and your) need to settle prayers =)

Now we just need to jump over the Bulgarian hurdle. To be blunt it feels like we are doing horribly. Understanding is still slow and speaking is… well… if we manage a simple sentence without errors, Spanish or Albanian sneaking in then we are doing well! It is not the poor language’s fault, rather we feel burnt out in the area of language learning! We continue to plod along, but we are feeling discouraged. Sure we can engage in some of the ministry that we are here to do. We can communicate with our national leaders (who all speak some English) and continue to teach and mentor them. We can preach with translation. However there is something missing when you cannot speak the language of those around you. I watched a lady fall at the mall yesterday and I had no idea what to say or how to offer help. That is just a small example of how distant I feel from the real lives of the people that I am living around. I long to have meaningful conversations with those becoming my friends. I want to talk with the people who I come in contact with in the park, shops and in the streets. I want to communicate!! So, please when we pop up in your heads over the next few days and weeks please pray for a new enthusiasm and desire to learn the language. Clear minds to study, and opportunities to practise! One day we will conquer this language… I just want it to be sooner rather than later! =)

Confessions of a Missionary Mom

Maybe it is spending most of my time with little people… maybe it is the “nightmares” I have been having recently about having to up and move country again… maybe it is the fact that it has been a long, cold winter… whatever the reason I have been doing a lot of thinking these months. Thinking about who I am, who we are as a family and what we are doing.

I will not bore you with the totality of my musing… But I feel like blogging one thought process! Remember folks, especially fellow missionaries; these are the exhausted, muddled thoughts of a missionary mum of preschoolers desperately trying to feel at home in another new country. No theory or research here, no offense to be taken!

It seems that we are stuck in the middle. In the middle of what I hear you cry? In the middle of missionary worlds! You see around me there seems to be two groups. I will affectionately call them the Newbies and the Oldies. With a combined missionary career spanning almost 20 years now we should be the “oldies”? However, with this being country No 6 we have spent a lot of years being the language learning, cultural understanding seeking “newbies”. We have ping ponged around the globe allowing us to experience MUCH and enjoy the cultures and friendships of many yet at the same time leaves us lacking a sense of home (and even who we are some days, let alone what language we speak). Until recently this hasn’t affected us too much. However as missionary mum of aging preschoolers, the homeless and the not-quite-fitting-in feelings have lead to much thought and discussion on life for our missionary kids. How are we to lead them and what choices should we make for them?

I see the quirks in Jonny’s personality that admittedly make him the fantastic little guy that he is, but seemingly exist because of his country hopping. Now I’m not saying that is bad. On the contrary I think that there are some amazing advantages to being an MK and I think that Jonathan is perfect the way he is (personality wise…. Behaviorally…. well… not so!) However, just like his mum and dad, he is unique in our setting and in order to parent him well and understand him we need to acknowledge his uniqueness. He is a PeruviBritErican and claims all 3 of those nationalities in a very passionate way for a 5 year old. He isn’t living in any of his nations. He distinguishes between and speaks some random words in 3 languages apart his mother tongue. He is an international hodgepodge all bundled into an energetic 5-year-old boy. And he is just the firstborn… there are two more developing multicultural personalities under our roof!

Having the months scream past and Sarah’s upcoming need for her preschool year, I have been particularly concerned about who they are and what is right for our kids regarding school. Should we help their enculturation and encourage our efforts of incarnational ministry and send the little kids to a Bulgarian school? Or should we acknowledge that we are different, will always be different, find an affordable international school and hope that an English school setting doesn’t dis-sway them from learning Bulgarian and become comfortable in their surroundings. It has been through the questions asked, school research done and much thinking and praying that I came to my breakthrough. Here it is…

We are unique (as indeed every missionary family is). Yup, not very profound or all that unobvious, but I obviously needed to stumble anew upon this revelation! We need to work out what is best for our family, for each kid, for each stage of life within God’s plan. We will never be Bulgarian (or Kosovar or Albanian or Peruvian come to that). Come to think about it we will never again be truly British or American. We have been affected in many ways by the cultures that we have passed through. Goodness knows who our kids will be. What we do know is that in order for them to be all that they have been created to be they need to understand the culture of their Heavenly Father and allow Him to guide us in guiding them!

So, for now, an international school is the place we have chosen. It is not the easiest option in some respects, but it is a good spot for our multicultural hodgepodge kids.

More than the school decision, all of this thinking and analyzing has given me a new appreciation for our history, our experiences and our uniqueness. I have relaxed about settling. We will get there! I have recognized how blessed that we are as we enjoy so many different groups of people and feel comfortable in so many settings. Maybe that is my settling. Maybe it is ok for us to be between worlds and sense both a degree of comfortableness and uncomfortable-ness in most of the settings of our life. Maybe it is ok for our kids to be hodgepodges. Definitely, as long as we are all living God’s design for our lives we cannot to any better!

Focus

Admittedly I found this posted on another blog that I regularly read…

Matthew 25:14-30
“Well done, my good and faithful servant. …Come, share your master’s joy.”

Every day we open our eyes on the same world that Jesus did, and every day we face the same challenge: Confront the evil in our midst or surrender to it; do what we can to help or bury our talents in the ground.

It wasn’t Christ’s practice to address broad issues such as sin, sickness, poverty, or despair. Instead, He approached individuals – sinful ones, sick ones, poor ones, and desperate ones – and tackled problems one person at a time.
That’s all the Lord asks of us.

None of us is ill-equipped for our Christian mission. God has outfitted each of us with something to offer, and He expects us to use our talents — to take risks as Jesus did — and invest what we have been given to make a positive difference in the lives of others and in our world.

This gospel parable is Christ’s polite way of telling us, “Don’t just stand there. Do something.” Because when we are called before God to give an accounting of our lives, the question He will put to us is not, “Were you successful?” but “Did you try?”

(From Faithfront Archives)

…This really speaks to me on two accounts. Within the places that we have lived (including the USA and UK) and the jobs we have been employed to do we are confronted with SO MUCH NEED! The danger with missionary life is that you become so overwhelmed with the need and what can be done that you chase your tail and do nothing! Being reminded that God calls us to tackle problems one at a time is comforting! Also, judgement of sucess is not an activity to waste my time on…. TRYING is what God cares about. Give Him all our efforts and he will bring about His successes

One Day…

… I will spell check and edit before clicking publish! Amongst many other things that I hope to achieve one day!

Real Living

Sometimes certain people just stick out! This can be a good thing and sometimes a bad thing. In Zhana Georgieva’s case, it is a very good thing!

Having moved a couple of years ago from the comfort of Sofia to the small town of Pravetz, Zhana Georgivea is one of our ministry partners here in Bulgaria. We are privileged to work with some outstanding Bulgarians. Zhana happens to be the closest to Sofia and is heavily involved in Compassionate Ministries, an area that weighs heavily on my heart. Zhana is up to her elbows in serving and loving others as a means to spread the gospel. Living in a part of Bulgaria that has many Roma residents, Zhana works amongst some of Bulgaria’s poorest people. She visits elderly care facilities, orphanages and schools in the areas surrounding Pravetz. She supports teachers and students at the village school in Vidrare whilst also teaching weekly bible classes. She makes house visits to young and old alike, often sharing food and other material goods with them. She is a friend to all in the community. She is a single girl living a pure single life (believe it or not in a community where marriage means little and bed hopping between neighbours and friends is common practise, this is one of the most noticed things as she continues to refuse offers of men from her neighbours and colleagues!) When there is a problem she is often the first to be called to help. Everyone from the mayor to the police chief know Zhana. Zhana sticks out and everyone knows her! They also know what or rather WHO she stands for. Many have come to an understanding and/or relationship with God through her witness. Zhana has shared many stories with us as we have made visits to see her…stories of how the people around her live…stories that emphasis the impact of her simply living right there and experiencing life with those in her community.

Each time that we visit with Zhana I am reminded of what we are really here for. We are here to be in relationship with people. We are here to meet people exactly where they are, not to sit around and wait for them to find us or to walk through our church doors. God didn’t keep Jesus in heaven and continue with sending prophets or writing notes down to us. He sent Jesus to be born, to grow, to play, and to walk right alongside us.

Zhana has shared that many days she doesn’t quite know what she is doing, yet the visible results of her living her life in this section of Bulgaria are numerous! We love supporting her there and will continue to tell her story and raise support for her continued work.

Now continues my challenge of figuring out how this trained nurse, sent missionary, and full time mom REALLY LIVES with those around me during this season of life!

Sweet Dad!

God’s Call to Parents

Above is a link to a article that my (Jen) Dad wrote for the Engage Magazine (the missions magazine for our church)… The call of parents is something that us kids recognize, but it was something else to read about it! Love you dear parents of ours! Thank you for supporting us in everyway as we follow God’s call around the world!

Welcome to 2012 & the Quiet months =)

Around the beginning of October, I start to long for January, February and March, months affectionately named the quiet months! Now don’t get me wrong, we LOVE the birthday month (October), Thanksgiving and the beginning of winter and then Christmas and all that comes with the celebration of Jesus’ birth. However, by the New Year we are usually a little tired and a little out of routine! With January comes a period of a few months where the kids and I (Jen) do not have to travel anywhere, school is fairly constant and we can get back into the rhythm of our daily lives. There will still be much work, guests and local travel, but Mommy starts to feel relaxed!

In many ways this Christmas was a tough one for me. It sounds silly considering I was surrounded by family (Doug’s parents visited for Thanksgiving and Jamesy’s 1st birthday, and my parents followed quick on their heels for Christmas).  We had fun play times with a lot of snow, and I find myself in the land of plenty when it comes to finding things that I need/want to make the holidays feel special and traditional for us as a family. This year was tough because I missed “home”. I spent many hours reflecting on Peru and Kosovo. I missed our Peruvian friends and the Spanish language. I missed our friends and the fellowship in Kosovo (and you friends in Albania too)! My heart wasn’t quite here in Bulgaria. It was in the past. We love Bulgaria, our friends here and the way life goes here. We are comfortable, happy, and excited to live many years here.  Yet that didn’t cover the feelings of loss that we experience as we have moved on and on and then on again! I guess the processing continues!

As with other New Years, this one did not start with any resolutions. I don’t want to get to the end of another year and have a hard time remembering the resolutions made at the beginning of the year. They may have worked during the quiet months, but not much further! So this year at the dawn of the New Year from my cozy bed with LOUD fireworks going off all around, I prayed a simple prayer (AKA Plea) to the Lord; that throughout the next 365 days 1) my relationship with Him would deepen, 2) as a result of No 1 we will get through all of the ups and downs of the year whilst being a good example to the kids and others and 3) that I would end the year speaking Bulgarian. If we get to the end of 2012 and I can reflect back feeling content that these three things have been obtained and continue to be in progress then I will be happy!

So, the year ahead… following our quiet months we have 10 days in the UK during April for a combined vacation/Home Assignment tour. June through July we will be in the USA doing 6 weeks of home assignment, touring Baltimore, Texas and Wisconsin. August we will likely host a W&W team or two and then September brings the start of Sarah’s pre-school year (how did that come around so quickly?). These are just the things in the calendar right now… goodness knows what the year will really look like! We will keep you posted as it progresses!

Christmas Greeting

I have been trying to write our “Christmas Poem” for a few weeks now…and to put it bluntly, it just isn’t happening! I don’t know if the kids have finally taken over my brain, and such, writing tasks are now beyond me.  Maybe the study of language No 3 in 8 years has finished off a few too many brain cells, or maybeI am just plain too busy to be creative! So, I have decided to give up. After all… it is the Christmas thought that counts, not the rhyming!

This Christmas is an exciting one for us. For the past 8 years we have celebrated Christmas in either the Southern Hemisphere, which to be honest just didn’t feel right, or in “secular” nations that don’t celebrate Christmas. I did not realize how much we missed the Christmas temperatures, music, and festivities until we were confronted with them this year. Jonathan starred as Joshua the sheep in his Kindergarten Christmas play “The Crippled Lamb”. We have visited a German Christmas Bazaar a number of times in central Sofia and we have enjoyed snowball fights in the first snow of the season. We have sung (ok.. tried to sing) Christmas carols in church, seen the lights go up around town and even hung our stockings on a REAL fireplace! It is setting up to be a wonderful Christmas as we welcome my parents a few days before the 25th. We are looking forward to the time to rest, relax and enjoy the celebrations of Jesus’ birthday!

Well, no Christmas letter is complete without a round up of the year…here is it in a nutshell!!  We started the year in Kosovo, newborn James in our arms and much excitement as to what the year would bring. Spring saw the move of the church in Prishtina to a new building that we could use 24/7. What a difference it made and new ministries were started immediately. There was much optimism in the air as to how God would bless the church’s efforts. Late spring, and we got the crazy news that we were on the move again…this time to Sofia, Bulgaria. We were too stunned to really take the news any particular way, but as it sunk in we felt both grief and excitement. We left Kosovo at the beginning of summer, travelled the USA on home assignment, and moved home to Sofia in September. The church in Kosovo continues to grow and reach into its new community. We remain totally excited from afar! We get back to Kosovo semi-regularly to support the folk there. Our assignment here continues to develop and we are starting to settle into fulfilling roles within the team. Some days we are excited by the opportunities here and other days we are overwhelmed! What we do know is that God is with us, he has placed us here and we will trust him!

Whilst all that moving and shaking was happening as a family we continue to grow (in maturity, not numerically)! Jonathan started kindergarten this year. I officially have a school-aged child!! He is loving it and as mentioned above was the lead role in his school play. We were very proud of our solo singing, line memorizing first born! Meanwhile Sarah and James are doing a great job of settling into Bulgaria. They enjoy times with Baba Tsanka every week (who babysits them while we are taking language lessons). She plays with them and talks only Bulgarian with them. Sarah is doing very well with her understanding and we are hoping that as James starts to speak he will be somewhat bi-lingual. Sarah started ballet in September, and is loving being with other little girls her age. =) I find it hard to believe that my babies are growing up so quickly.  Yet they are, and we are enjoying getting to know the little people that they are becoming!

Well, this letter is already a little longer than anticipated! I will end with a sincere thank you to all of you. For, supporting us, being friends to us, praying for us, loving us. We could not be living this crazy life of ours without your participation. We thank God for the way he uses each of you as He provides all our needs.

Our wish for you this Christmas year,
Is more than happy festive cheer.
We pray that each and every one of you
Will see Christmas from God’s point of view.
What a gift he sent us with his son,
His love, his plan, new life for each and every one!
Thank you Father in heaven above,
This season we celebrate Your gift of love!

With much love, Jennifer and the rest of the Mann Clan:
Douglas, Jonathan, Sarah and James!

Thirty Minutes

Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday I, Jen, get the luxury of 30 minutes of childless quiet time =) I drop Jonathan at school and then drive to a bus stop where I sit in the car and wait for sweet “Baba Tzanka” who then looks after the little kids whilst Doug and I have Bulgarian language class. In the car stays a special Peruvian bag that stays in the car with my bible, book, personal prayer book and journal. Oh how I love that time!!

Well, this Monday I was reading about the importance of Sabbath. As a Mom I always have way more to do than time to do it. Ditto as a missionary. There is ALWAYS something to do! Yet, somehow in there I am commanded to take a rest! In fact, this Sunday evening I was sharing with a freind how glad I was it was Sunday night and we could “get back to the week!” How totally upside down, right?! I am enthused and excited by productivity, schedule, completed to-do lists, the very things that I get from the week. I find rest difficult to achieve. I always have that “missionary” excuse… Those of us who work “in the church” often find weekend to be the busyest times of the week, and thus that becomes a “good” excuse for not taking a break and taking the time to do something restful… reading a book with the kids, watching a movie under fluffy blankets all squished up on the futon, playing outside, baking something for fun allowing the kids to get themselves and the kitchen covered!

Well, I read Leviticus 23:3 “There are six days when you may work, but the seventh day is a day of Sabbath rest, a day of sacred assembly. You are not to do any work; wherever you live, it is a sabbath to the LORD”.

Boy did that pop out at me… wherever you live… No excuses Jen! It doesnt matter that you work for the church, or live somewhere where regular life and tasks takes a little longer to accomplished. Even in Bulgaria Jen, you need to take Sabbath!

So here I am in front of you blog readers commiting to take a break on Sundays and teaching and examplifying in front of my family this gift from the Lord given to us each week! May this be the beginning of some fun Sunday family restful and playful traditions =)